2019-03-21

Hello Key Biscayne!

This is the first in what I hope will be a long line of newsletters talking about the ongoings of Key Biscayne. If you find any grammatical errors or spelling mistakes, please direct your complaints to my alma mater, KBCS. Without further ado, enjoy the rag.

Golf carts are now a staple on the Key, but have you ever wondered how it got to be that way? All signs point to the pioneer being someone in the mid-90s. I asked around the old key rat backchannels and a few names came up: Larry Yehle, Rick Jauregui, or Wayne “Spade” Morris. The 4th of July Parade Committee also came up, as they would rent carts for extended periods in the summer, which may have led to them catching on.

The most official account (though maybe not the true first) is that of the late, great Isabel Portela. Back around Valentine’s Day 1996 she was gifted a golf cart by her husband. The cops took notice, and she asked for a formal waiver to allow her to drive on the streets. The Village legalized golf carts a few months later, in January 1997, and now they’re the vehicle of choice for reckless fourteen-year-olds all over the island. 💥🚗🤷‍♂️

Ultra Justice A lawsuit brought by the Brickell Homeowners Association alleging that the City of Miami issued an unlawful lease to Ultra organizers went nowhere last week, when the judge ruled that the plaintiffs didn’t have standing to bring the suit. The plaintiffs will appeal, but at this point there is little chance of stopping the festival.

The Rapture Festival, who had contracted the same venue before being kicked out to make way for Ultra, has a hearing set for tomorrow. The chances that this hearing could stop the festival look equally slim. (Key News)

Perfect Timing Miami-Dade has begun a maintenance project on the William Powell bridge (the big one). Lane closures are scheduled from 8pm to 5am, Sunday through Thursday, excluding event times (😅). The project will run through March 2019, but they estimate the lane closures to be over by October of this year. (Islander News)

Turtles sipping smoothies Back in August, the Village voted to prohibit commercial establishments from using plastic straws, and we all patted ourselves on the back. Now the Florida Senate is saying, “not so fast.” A bill made it out of committee earlier this month to ban the bans on plastic straws. The law would impose a five year moratorium on banning straws while the state studies the implications for restaurants, retailers, and the disabled. (WLRN)

In too deep Unless you’ve been living in the mangroves for the past six months, you’ve probably heard about the plans to bury power lines on the Key, and the contentious options for how to pay for the project. Key News has two op-eds this week on the matter from two different points of view.

Who are the “We” and Who are the “They” in Our “One” Community?

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On Fairness

(Full disclosure: I wrote the one about fairness)

Our Tennis Past Remember way back, when instead of traffic from boat shows and music festivals, the only traffic we complained about was at the tennis? Oh, to be young again.

Anywho, The Jitney has a short piece on the best matches ever played at the Lipton the Nasdaq the Ericsson the Sony Open the Miami Open if you want to get nostalgic. (The Jitney)

That's it for this week. It's only going to get better, so if you enjoyed it please tell your friends to subscribe at The Tropical Rag.

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Have a great week!