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Your weekly slice of island life.

Hello Key Biscayne!

The thing about living on a small island is that there isn’t always a lot to talk about that doesn’t involve gossip. That’s for our sister publication, the Island Grapevine.

There was this massive global music festival this past weekend, but it wasn’t the apocalypse it was hyped up to be so I put it at the end. I didn’t want to bore you. Enjoy the rag 😉

From the front pages

Bummed out The KBPD recently arrested a homeless guy who stole around $10,000 worth of items from places around the island. This guy was a real class act, even stealing from the KB Community Church.

He was caught on video, and was wearing the same clothes when police tracked him down. His stated reason for the thefts? He was drinking with a hooker in Crandon Park and needed some money. 🎩 (Key News)

Arrested development What do anti-semitic remarks, cars being hit with eggs, and a kid putting a nail under someone’s tire have in common? They’re the kind of hard crime you find on the streets of Key Biscayne.

As promised last week, the Islander is back with Key Biscayne police reports. The first push has a week’s worth of incidents, but you'll find a few gems 💎 (Islander News)

Riptide I shared a letter with you all last week from a board member talking about some issues at the Beach Club. That same day, the Islander published a second letter, this one from other members of the board. In it, the board members look to clear their names while addressing some of the issues raised in the previous letter.

If you’re a member, you have until April 7th to turn in your ballot. (Islander News)

Assess this The undergrounding of power lines debate is at a simmer right now, but there are two recent op-eds that may help reignite your political flame. One is by former mayor Frank Caplan, and the other by president of Key Colony IV, Matt Bramson.

One | Two

They both arrive at similar conclusions, but for different reasons. (Key News)

About those power lines… FPL is actually doing undergrounding at no cost to residents in certain communities. Their criteria for undergrounding include: power outages during the last two hurricanes, frequent outages on a day-to-day basis, and outages caused by overgrown vegetation.

Doesn’t that sound like us? Don’t hold your breath, it says they’ve already selected the communities in question. (Sun Sentinel)

The KB 4th of July Parade hosts its annual fundraiser soon and it's always a party. Every year they get a great band, great food, and the drinks go all night. It's fun for the whole family. Get your tickets early and save!

(More info)

Promote your own thing.

Ultra roundup

TL;DR Friday no traffic; attendees walk back to Miami at 3am. Saturday, beach + Ultra traffic causes one hour delays. Sunday the same as Saturday. Brickell people said it was really loud. The end.

In longform If you want to read a thorough account of everything that happened, with a tinge of that Key Biscayne indignation 😤, Key News has you covered. They go into detail about the incidents at the event, including number of arrests and medical transports, reactions from politicians and attendees, and more. (Key News)

Bait and switch Were you wondering what effect the elevated noise levels might have on the fish hatcheries in Virginia Key? Here’s an article with a headline that seems like it’s going to tell you, and then doesn’t. 🧐 (Islander News)


Around Town

  • Today 4/4
  • 🎹 Listen to some masters tickle the ivories (KB Crossbridge Church)
  • 🍸 Cocktails and hors d'oeuvres at a new jewelry store (The Square)
  • Tomorrow 4/5
  • 🍻 Have some drinks and attend a live auction (Wet Lab)
  • Saturday 4/6
  • 🌤 Learn to build and fly a kite (Bill Baggs)
  • 🍆 Get your fresh produce at the farmer's market (KB Community Church)
  • Upcoming Thursday 4/18
  • 🎣 Go fishing for tarpon in this local tourney (KBYC)
  • Upcoming Friday 4/19
  • 🌽 Participate in KB's most prestigious cornhole tournament (Beach Club)

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Spring break is over and the party people are gone. Now we can finally go back to getting mad at the people who come to the beach on the weekends, just how it should be. Enjoy the week!

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