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Your weekly slice of island life.


Hello Key Biscayne!

We’re here, the time of year when your sweat and the humidity in the air bind into one. There’s a bit in here about the beach, a bit more on our taxes, some seaweed talk, and a bit off the small town grapevine. Enjoy the Rag.

From the very small town affairs desk

I received an anonymous tip last week about something brewing over at the Community Center. Do you like tai chi?

There’s this tai chi class. It’s a very compelling tai chi class. See, the regular instructor, Marius, he’s been teaching for 20 years. He took a break recently to recover from illness (measles?), and in his place appeared Ian, a strapping 20 year old from Cape Town who recently returned from studying martial arts with monks in China.

The tipster informs me that the “bridge club is abuzz about the class — and instructor,” and that word is getting around about his prowess.

A follow-up email to try and figure out just what I could expect from this ‘prowess’ didn’t yield a conclusive answer, but I’m told you can find out the secrets of yin and yang for yourself Fridays and Sundays at 8:30am. ☯

Serious stuff

Can’t have your cake Have you ever seen tourists on the island driving around trying to find a way to get to the beach? We have two obscure public access points, and neither have parking. We have the Beach Park, but you need to be a resident. This is all by design; to keep the beach as private as possible.

This design has now come back to bite us in the ass. We need to restore the sand on the beach every few years, it costs millions, and we were hoping the federal government could pitch in. They’ve told us they only give money to publicly accessible beaches, and ours doesn’t make the cut. 🍰

(Key News)

Biggest losers I hope you’re not thinking of selling your place soon, because things aren’t looking so hot on the Key (unless it’s a really, really nice place).

The Miami-Dade property appraiser is projecting a 2.8% decrease in property values (and thus tax revenue) for Key Biscayne this year, the largest decrease for any city in the county. If that number is correct, it could mean the Village is down $700k when making the budget for next year, which means some tough decisions for the council. 📉

(Key News)


Around Town

  • Tomorrow 6/7
  • 👨‍👩‍👧‍👧 Get rid of your annoying kids (Community Center)
  • Saturday 6/8
  • 🇵🇱 Why'd the polish guy go to the beach? (Crandon Park)
  • 🗑 Pick up some beach trash (Bill Baggs)
  • 🎾 Pretend you're at Roland Garros for a day (Grand Bay)
  • Tuesday 6/11
  • 🚗 Renew your driver's license (Community Center)
  • 🏛 Hit up a council meeting (Council Chamber)
  • Saturday 6/15
  • 🎣 Check out the longest running fishing tournament (KBYC/BC)

Last Week's Sales

Location SQFT Rooms Prev Price
220 Island Drive 4899 5/5 '76 $275k $5.25m
OC Lake Villa II Ph2 2470 3/2.5 '96 $530k $1.575m
CC East 602 840 1/1.5 '12 $425k $525k
Mar Azul 7BS 2800 3/3 '02 $590k $1m
301 Island Dr 5631 7/7.5 '14 $2.35m $4.35m
OC Resort Villa I PH10 1700 2/2 '03 $590k $920k
Ocean Lane Plaza 1460 2/2 N/A $490k
KC III 334 1584 2/2 '10 $520k $534k
Towers B701 1782 2/2 '89 $600k $1.1m
Ocean Village ?? 1450 2/2 '15 $575k $585k
Casa del Mar 27E 1875 2/2 '10 $950k $1.52m
265 W Heather 4205 6/5.5 '04 $2.4m $2.265m
Casa del Mar 6H 3120 4/3 '03 $790k $1.85m

Endless Sargasso Summer

I can’t tell you how long it will last, but as of writing the way the wind is blowing (or not blowing) is making it so there’s not very much seaweed in the ocean. I suggest you take advantage before it comes back.

If you’re looking for a good explanation for why the seaweed has been so bad lately, and the last few years, a reader points us to a great video which explains it, and gives some possible solutions.

End of the line

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Questions, comments, tips, or to get dinner at Vito’s 🍝, write to

Remember that Key Rat Bahamas wedding I told you about two weeks ago? There’s photos in the Islander today. See you next week!

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