Your weekly slice of island life.

Hello Key Biscayne!

The Key has mobilized in a big way for the Bahamas, collecting a ton of supplies for the people affected by Hurricane Dorian. The logistics of taking supplies over is difficult, so if you want to give money, you can do that too. It’s all tax deductible too, in case you’re only the type to help when it benefits you directly 🤑

Learn more here

Now let’s get on with it.

The bad and the boring

Gone in 60 seconds Not two weeks after some thieves managed to steal a car on Mashta Island, on Tuesday some new car thieves tried to do the same. The cops couldn’t catch the guys in the act. One fled the island, presumably in the stolen car. The other guy didn’t even bother looking at a map of where he was going to carjack, as instead of fleeing out of the Key, he fled toward the state park. He wasn’t caught either, and some say he’s still out there living out his days as a hermit behind the lighthouse. 🚗

(Islander News)

Small fish Remember all that hoopla about an ethics complaint made to Miami-Dade about current and former council members having conflicts of interest for serving in groups that received Village funding? Well, the results are in, and the ethics commission has basically said, “eh, it’s not enough money for it to make a difference.”

(Key News)

Ain’t budgin’ If you’re a budget hawk, you should be attending these budget meetings. If you’re an armchair complainer, both the Islander and Key News have good summaries for you about what’s been happening. The next and final budget hearing is September 24th. 💰

Be the change

Technically, the decision from the Miami-Dade Commission on Ethics (COE) said that while there was a rule in place against an elected official voting directly on funding an organization where they are a director, that there was past precedent giving exemptions when the amounts were tiny compared to the total budget, and that it’s even less of a problem when the vote is for the total budget and not directly funding the organization itself.

The report [PDF], and a subsequent opinion [PDF] released by COE director Jose Arrojo, are actually pretty good reads if you enjoy boring reads. They also reveal that the investigation wasn’t triggered by a complaint, but by a council member asking for advice 😉.

But why is this even a thing? Why are three council members also sitting on boards of community groups? Well, there’s maybe fifty people on this island who volunteer for community groups; no one else wants to do this stuff. We live in a town where it’s normal for the mayor to run unopposed. It’s almost inevitable that these issues crop up.

From the peanut gallery

On last week’s mention of ‘colored people’ and encouraging profiling in the council meeting:

Thanks for pointing out the grotesque comment made by the woman whose car was stolen. Racist comments like that are extremely hurtful and terrorizing for people of color and, in fact, all of us that live among angry, under-informed bigots such as her.  Since she clearly feels entitled to spew dangerous, low-life garbage, her neighbors should arrange an intervention and educate her on living in a democracy.

-AV

Calendar

Around Town

  • Tomorrow 9/13
  • 🍻Drink piss to benefit the Bahamas (KBYC)
  • Saturday 9/14
  • 🧹 Clean the beach (Bill Baggs)

Last Week's Sales

Location SQFT Rooms Prev Price
227 Buttonwood Empty Lot '17 $1.7m $1.05m
325 Gulf Rd 3310 5/4 '11 1.97m $2.2m
KC IV 240 930 2/2 '04 $329k $410k
CC East 904 1260 2/2 '08 $694k $830k

One more thing

At 11:30PM last night, the KBPD had made the entrance and exit to the Village one lane, positioning a car in the other lane, lights spinning, creating an effective checkpoint. A show of force to would-be thieves? 🚨

Hasta la pasta

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Questions, comments, tips, or to plan a car heist 🚙, write to hi@tropicalrag.com.

Until next time!

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