Hello Key Biscayne!
This cool weather lasting for more than a week is the real Christmas miracle, and it looks like it’s gonna keep going for a bit longer.
New tree location. Just out of the frame on the left is the Festivus pole.
Alright, it’s a quick train-wreck from here. Enjoy!
Black tie optional The mayor is all geared up to give his State of the Village address today. It’s not clear why such a message couldn’t be put in a press release, but hey, you can get your free wine and cheese fix if you show up. 🍷
The event is at the Community Center, upstairs, at 7pm. You can read the cliffnotes if you follow the link.
The best pecans in town are back courtesy of the Key Biscayne Woman's Club (yes, that's a thing). These bags are on sale at Glamour Salon, Nino's Salon, and 1121 Salon (all the best pecans are sold at salons), and those sales have provided scholarships for 165 students since 1958. Don't trust those other pecans; they're barely fresh, hardly mammoth, and probably not even from Georgia.
Promote your own thing.
Small town dept.
Have you heard about Key Biscayne’s must-have Christmas present? It’s called, “Hook a Floater.”
Not sure if it's a scratch and sniff affair.
The game, which barely qualifies as a game, is only a set of fishing rods and some plastic floating poops. The thing is, it’s just so relatable to the Key Biscayne audience given what’s been happening on the beach recently. It’s fun and informative, which we all know is the best kind of fun.
Well, it was fun, until someone on one of the chat chats decided to get it banned from the Key. Someone complained about it being inappropriate (contrary to popular belief, it seems that not everyone poops), and they had the Winn Dixie pull it from shelves.
In an effort to rectify the situation, the Rag has gone ahead and started a petition to reverse this decision. We hope you’ll sign.
(p.s. this will be last poop mention for at least six months.)
From the peanut gallery
In response to the mention about the hobos last week:
Maybe writing about them actually will help people not be so concerned about them being here if they are nice guys. Let’s get to know them, no? What are their names? I guess they don’t necessarily want the attention but its kind of hard not to notice when they crack open a beer and just stare at you in the morning walking on the sidewalk. I could probably just go up to them myself and chat in person but…lol
- Today 12/5
- 💃 Party with all the Key babes (Grand Bay)
- 👨⚖️ Wine, cheese, and something about the Village (Community Center)
- Tomorrow 12/6
- 🍪 Santa gives you cookies (Presbyterian School)
- Saturday 12/7
- 🧁 The babes make cakes (Community Church)
- Sunday 12/8
- ⛪️ How bazaar (St Agnes)
- 🌲 becomes 🎄 (Front of Fire Station)
Last Week's Sales
|Towers C507||1782||2/2||'08 $603k||$975k|
|KC IV 119||1600||2/2||'10 $495k||$600k|
|OC OT I 208||6701||6/8||'09 $6.1m||$5.1m|
|KC I 307||1541||2/2||'11 $598k||$665k|
|320 W McIntyre||2458||3/3||'10 $1.05m||$1.3m|
|CC South 712||1260||2/2||'77 $105k||$545k|
Thank God it's over
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