2020-03-12
Hello Key Biscayne!
Have you heard about the latest sensation sweeping the nation? It’s coronavirus, and it’s even more popular than pickleball (though not with seniors).
The threat has finally reached the County and so for the next few weeks you may see things on the Key slowly shut down in an effort to prevent its spread.
Should you be worried? Not really, unless you’re 70+ and prone to pneumonia; in that case you’re a goner. But let’s be honest, if that’s you, the writing was on the wall before any of this started. ⚰️
Not coronavirus, but worse: the first large seaweed patch of the year landed on the Key this week.
News alerts
Avoiding cooties The Village has announced an unofficial ban on kissing your friends. Speaking from the corona-bunker, the Mayor, flanked by his three corona-confidants, advised residents to forgo our affectionate greetings, and instead to fist bump, or touch our feet together (possibly like this).💋
Roundup Hand sanitizer is already scarce, there’s wet wipes on offer at condos that no one is really using, public events are being canceled, and for whatever reason people are stocking up on toilet paper. Apart from that, everything is business as usual on the Island, for now.🧴
Calendar
Corona canceled edition
- Saturday 3/14
- 🙅♀️ Will probably cancel soon (Crossbridge Church)
- 🎸 Slow jams and breaded steak (Milanezza)
Last Week's Sales
| Location | SQFT | Rooms | Prev | Price |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| OC Tower I 706 | 2790 | 3/4.5 | '12 $1.364m | $2.175m |
| GB Tower 211 | 2490 | 2/3 | '96 $650k | $1.625m |
| OC Resort Villa II 205 | 1310 | 2/2 | '05 $900k | $825k |
| 465 Glenridge | 4031 | 6/5.5 | '11 $820k | $3.1m |
| Le Phare 18C | 875 | 2/1.5 | '18 $435k | $405k |
It was nice to know you
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Read past issues in the archive.
Questions, comments, tips, or to self-quarantine together 👬, write to hi@tropicalrag.com.
If you could quit forwarding that fake coronavirus advice in the group chats that would be swell. See you next week. 👋
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