2020-03-26
Hello Key Biscayne!
Well, on the bright side, it feels like Key Biscayne 1989: a long sun and Crandon is empty. Itâs not exactly the same âcause you canât go anywhere you want, but itâs got its charm; thereâs no need to worry crossing the street and youâre always on time.
Getting festive.
Seriously, though, we are officially in the thick of it, and face it: this thick is going to last a while. Youâre only human, and youâre gonna do what youâre gonna do, but when you do, please, please consider everyone else. It may be the first and last time in your lifetime that your trivial decisions can affect so many.
Thatâs all the scolding for now. đ¤
You gotta do what you gotta do
Check your mailbox. Itâs almost certain that youâve received your census form. Thereâs a code inside. Take it to the website, fill it out, and get counted. Washington takes that info and decides how much we matter. If you donât fill it out, we donât matter at all. If you do fill it out, we matter very very little. đ¤ˇââď¸
The sniffles
Almost there The dream of shutting down the bridge came one step closer to reality on Sunday night when the Village declared restrictions on non-residents entering the island. Monday morning came and a checkpoint was set up at the entrance to the Village, directing non-residents with no business on the island to gtfo.
Officer Friendly says if you're not from the Key you're going to jail.
After about 6 hours, the Village got rid of the checkpoint because of the hour+ long delay to enter. The rule is still in place, though, and judging by the lack of cars on the island, it seems everyone got the message. đ ââď¸
Stats donât lie Last week, when the Rag went out, Dade County was at 77 confirmed infections. Today weâre at 491. Want to take a guess at next weekâs numbers?
We now have stats for the Key: 8 confirmed cases as of last night. Where on the Key? Right next door to you. đˇ
Donât even try it For the most part, you gotta stay home, you canât go to the beach, you canât be out after 10pm, you canât be on the island if you donât live here, you canât be with more than 10 people, and you can’t be closer than 6ft from them.
Since it’s changing often, if you want more info on what’s allowed and what isn’t, check the Village website. đ¸
Local yokels
Fiddler on the balcony Not to be outdone by the Italians, weâve got our own balcony performer here on the island. A video started circulating of a violin player playing for his neighbors over at the Commodore Club, and since then heâs gone on to do more performances, from the balcony and on the internet, and to be written about in the Herald.
Thereâs another violin player out there who, presumably seeing how popular balcony violin guy became and wanting a slice of those claps from bored grandmas, started playing in peopleâs front yards. Itâs not quite as glamorous as the balcony, but at least he doesnât play Coldplay. đť
Zen and the art of bike maintenance Your thoughts are racing with all the uncertainty right now, and youâve got a bit of time. âBicycle Bill,â who long ago gave up bikes to open a meditation studio, has been putting out a series of videos to help you get a hold of yourself, and hopefully stop that urge you have to forward every stupid coronavirus tip you find. đ˛
Rumor Patrol
The big rumor this past week came in the form of a voice memo passed around from chat to chat. In it, a Key Biscayne woman is telling a story to her friend about a bizarre encounter with a neighbor.
She says she ran into a neighbor who was staying 5m away, and asked what was up. The neighbor, who was coming back from the Winn Dixie with groceries, says she doesnât want to get close because she has the coronavirus; that she caught it from someone on her floor. The narrator, shocked, asks why the person would be out and about, and going to the store. To that the neighbor replies that she had to do some shopping. The narrator goes on to ask why she didnât send her husband, or someone else. The neighbor replies that he wouldnât know what to get.
Could this be true? The interaction with the neighbor likely happened, but itâs hard to imagine a person who truly tested positive for the virus being so thick as to not stay home. Still, there are a lot of stupid people out there, so consider that next time you decide to go to the store.
From the peanut gallery
KB is looking more like the Hotel California…you can check in but you can never leave and if you do manage to leave, forget about checking in again.
-CS
Calendar
Nah
Last Week's Sales
Location | SQFT | Rooms | Prev | Price |
---|---|---|---|---|
OC CT II 905 | 2100 | 2/2.5 | '00 $830k | $1.7m |
Mar Azul 3AS | 2052 | 3/3 | '87 $351k | $1.25m |
220 Woodcrest | 6044 | 6/6 | '13 $2.8m | $3.95m |
CC South 813 | 1260 | 2/2 | '99 $220k | $565k |
Towers D205 | 1409 | 2/2 | '09 $400k | $460k |
OC OT II 1003 | 2605 | 3/3 | '03 $1.1m | $2.2m |
460 W Matheson | 2947 | 4/3 | '93 $870k | $4.55m |
Casa del Mar 22D | 1875 | 2/2 | '91 $360k | $1m |
Tourists realizing the beach is closed
Nothing is over!
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Questions, comments, tips, or to wave at each other from across the street đ, write to hi@tropicalrag.com.
Last week. No matter the time, place, or catastrophic event, sunset photos are just as boring.
Oh, suddenly everyone is into walking, eh? đśââď¸
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