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Your weekly slice of island life.


Hello Key Biscayne!

[Insert positive welcome rambling or some musing about the weather here.]

Palm tree in the Garden District Key Biscayne May 2020It's a tree in a parking lot surrounded by power lines and a dumpster.

Let’s go.


Too soon If you thought things might be heading back to normal by next month, here’s a little punch in the gut: we won’t have the 4th of July fireworks show on the Key this year (unless you buy ’em yourself *hint hint*).

The firework company gave until May 15th to cancel this year’s fireworks with a 15% penalty. The closer it gets to the 4th would have that penalty go up, though there is a chance to not pay it if the contract is negotiated for 2021 and 2022. The council voted 7-0 on Tuesday to do just that. 🧨

(Village KB)

Statistically Word around town is that we’ll start seeing a loosening of restrictions in Dade County once we have two weeks of declining daily new cases. The Rag doesn’t report daily, but we can at least show the week on week changes since the start.

Weekly Covid-19 Infections
Date Dade County Key Biscayne
Yesterday 13,232 65
2020-04-30 11,798 62
2020-04-23 10,170 59
2020-04-16 7991 59
2020-04-09 5412 46
2020-04-02 2380 22
2020-03-26 491 8

The number to look at would be new cases every day as a percentage of people tested that day, but we don’t have that data. We do what we can with what we got, though. 🤷‍♀️


4th o' July

Even if the fireworks have been canceled, that doesn’t mean the entire 4th of July on Key Biscayne has been canceled. Hell, a sign that you had a great 4th has always been that you’re too tired to even make it to the fireworks.

The parade is still chugging on, even if it won’t be in the same form as in recent years past. I have it on good authority, being in the parade committee, that instead of the usual show the parade will go back to its roots. Instead of going down Crandon, it’ll be going down more streets, and it’ll be a real hometown parade with all local participants. That’s the talk, anyway. There’ll be more info soon. 🇺🇸

From the peanut gallery

Re: the local paper publishing some racist comments:

The Islander News has been publishing some quite startling “Letters to the Editors”. Perhaps this is good topic for your newsletter. Please make fun of them so their authors can feel embarrassed.

Apparently one of our neighbors thinks Latin American men, “beat the crap out of their wives.” A follow-up letter called the previous comment a, “fine letter.” WTF?!


Ed note: I saw this stuff when it was originally published a few weeks ago. The first ‘letter’ wasn’t even a letter, it was plucked from public comments to the council and published as if it were a letter to the editor. I dismissed it because I thought the Islander was just peddling outrage porn, and didn’t feel the need to give it any views.

Who knows what the motivations were, but it definitely worked. The chats lit up and the comments flowed. The Islander is a shell of what it used to be. It doesn’t have an editor. The publisher is Cuban so I doubt he’s racist towards Latin people, and he doesn’t live on the Key, so it’s unlikely he notices who is and isn’t rude.

If you want to give them the benefit of the doubt, maybe the letters were published to rally key rats to respond with positivity. If not, then maybe the Islander is a giant real estate ad peppered with press releases that’s only read because people still think it’s a local paper. 🤔


Here for consistency

Last Week's Sales

Location SQFT Rooms Prev Price
Towers F207 1782 3/2 '03 $335k $635k
750 S Mashta 5967 5/6.5 '15 $9.1m $6.6m
OC CTII 1506 2790 3/5.5 '98 $825k $3m
GB Tower 1104 3680 4/4.5 '01 $1.7m $3.275m
Towers B1101 1782 2/2 '19 $1.1m $1.59m

Your covid bodega

Like a convenient corner store, this section repeats in every issue to remind you of some available services during the pandemic.

Got the munchies There are a lot more restaurants on the island than you might remember in your head when you’re thinking about what to eat. Thanks to this pandemic, most of them deliver and all are doing takeout. Here’s a list of everything you can eat.

(KB restaurant list)

Never leave the couch There’s great resources on the island in case you want help running errands, or know someone who does. You can also volunteer to run errands, in case you’ve got the cabin fever.

(KB pandemic resources)

Feeling it yet? If you’ve got symptoms or are considering getting tested, you can take this survey provided by the KBCF and the Village. If warranted, you may get a call and an appointment to get tested right here on the Key.

(KB Covid-19 Testing)

The end

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