2020-05-14

Hello Key Biscayne!

It’s become clear that not everyone has the same idea of how to handle this virus situation. You’ve got the people who wear masks inside their cars, and on the other end, the people who have no qualms hitting up a local concert.

It’d be interesting to know exactly how the Key feels about all this, so here’s a short survey for you. Share it with your friends and members of your family; it shouldn’t take more than a minute to fill out. Look for the results here next week.

Survey: how do Key Biscayners feel about the virus?

Remember, though, just because you have a hunch doesn’t mean you’re right. 😉

County superposition You may have heard that Dade County is looking to open certain things up, including restaurants, this Monday the 18th. They even published a Michener-length document [PDF] explaining all the new color-coded rules (which still need the Governor’s approval). Expect to hear about moving into ‘phase blue and a half’ and the like in the coming weeks.

That doesn’t mean we on the island are getting colorful just yet; a bunch of cities in the county have already said they’re not ready to open on Monday, and the Village still needs to review the rules before deciding on anything, so unless you wanna drive out to Westchester, cool your jets. It does look promising for us on the Key, though. That said, there’s no color for opening the beaches. 🎨

(Mayor Davey)

Count ‘em According to Mayor Davey, only 46% of the Key has filled out their census forms. The notices for the census went out months ago.

Look, we get it, you’re afraid of being deported. Let’s clear some things up, though: just because you drive a bimmer or a Range Rover it doesn’t automatically make you a jerk, and even if it did, being a jerk isn’t enough to get you deported. President Trump tried hard to get the citizenship question on the census, but it didn’t happen, yet it seems it’s still got half of you too scared to fill it out. You won’t be getting deported, at least not for filling out your census. 📝

(2020 Census)

Stats do lie It turns out that publishing the raw numbers of how many new cases we have right now on the Key at best doesn’t tell us anything without knowing how many people are getting tested, and at worst it misleads us into a false sense of security. The test numbers are out there, they’re just not published anywhere with any regularity.

Instead, let’s just read this little piece from the Miami Herald that explains how the county is calculating if things are going well or not:

[Mayor Gimenez] also established metrics for going forward with the planned reopening, modeled after White House guidelines.

First, Miami-Dade’s daily COVID-19 tests come back under 10 percent positive for an average of two weeks. (It was last above 10 percent on April 27, 11 days ago.)

Second, Miami-Dade COVID-19 cases will be on a “downward trajectory” for 14 days. (Cases rise and fall on a daily basis, but have been below 300 every day in May after hitting 377 on April 25.) Third, Miami-Dade will always have at least 30 percent of its intensive-care beds available countywide. (Friday’s hospital report from Miami-Dade said COVID-19 patients occupied 19 percent of the ICU beds that would otherwise be available.)

(Miami Herald)

Regarding people out and about:

I walk to the toll everyday and I just wanted to say that maybe we are still in confinement but when you see the hundreds of cars, vans, and pickup trucks going to Key Biscayne at 6:30AM since Monday there does not seem to be any confinement at all.

-DB

On the parade still happening:

Love the news about the parade. Rolling through the residential zone may give it a little more local flair a la Orange Bowl tailgate days. As for the fireworks, good riddance. They never inspire a freedom boner like the flyover does.

-GY

On the antics in the local paper:

LOL to the Islander story. It is sad what it’s turned in to.

-RL

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Questions, comments, tips, or to hit up La Scala next week 🍝, write to hi@tropicalrag.com.

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RIP key rat Diego Becerra.

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