Your weekly slice of island life.

Hello Key Biscayne!

Last week there was a survey in here and you guys really took to it. There were 768 people who responded, or maybe that one person following the stay home order filled it out 700 times. There’s no way to be sure but regardless there is now a spreadsheet with 786 entries.

land crab in a Key Biscayne sewer May 2020"Pssssst, what do you need?"

You didn’t think the results would be right here at the top, did you? Let’s keep reading.

First, some news

Run free* Before you and your friends go mount a protest at Village Hall, just know that the 10pm curfew that most don’t know exists and even fewer people follow has been pushed back to 11pm.

City of Miami completely removed their curfew, so if you need a late night you could always cross the causeway. 🏃‍♀️

(Village KB)

Hotdogs at home You got big plans for Memorial Day weekend? I know you’re not going to the beach so here is a thirty minute video where you can remember those who have died serving in the armed forces.

You might be wondering why this is news. Well, someone sent over an email that said, “can you put this in the Rag, please?” That’s how easy it is to get a mention. 💌

(KB American Legion 374)

Survey says

In general, you could say the respondents were somewhat evenly split between the conservative stay home crowd and the more relaxed, no mask, let’s-hit-the-beach crowd. There’s also around a quarter of you who are ready to go all out, no-holds-barred, straight back into normality.

Anywho, without further ado:

Survey results: how do Key Biscayners feel about the virus?

On that other page you’ll see all the questions, but let’s look over some results that stood out.

Would you be comfortable removing the non-resident travel restriction in Key Biscayne?

Yes
No

You all clearly don’t care for non-residents. It’s hard to know if this sentiment has anything to do with the virus. Maybe we can keep this policy forever.

Would you be comfortable opening the beaches in Key Biscayne, considering it will likely be difficult to enforce distancing and will attract non-residents?

Yes
No

For as much as you dislike the idea of those disease-ridden non-residents, a good half of you would open the beaches anyway. This question was purposely formulated to make you really consider if you want the beaches open, and most of you said ‘yes’. Remember, though, the Village cannot legally open the beaches. Save your complaints for Dade County.

Lastly, check out these next two questions:

Would you be comfortable with all businesses opening?

Yes
Yes, but only with distancing measures in place (masks, 6ft, etc.).
No

Would you be comfortable with you or your family having to ride public transit daily?

Yes
Yes, but only with distancing measures in place (masks, 6ft, etc.).
No

You guys don’t like non-residents, you wouldn’t put yourself or your family on a bus, but you’re ready to open up all the businesses. Who, exactly, do you think works at all these Key businesses, and how do you think many of them get to work?

You all need to be a little more consistent: if you want the businesses open you need to be willing to throw yourself under on the bus, or vice-versa.

Once again, in case you scrolled too fast, here are the full results:

Survey results: how do Key Biscayners feel about the virus?

Did you see anything in the results that made you go 🤔? If so, send an email and share your thoughts.

Calendar

Still slow

Last Week's Sales

Location SQFT Rooms Prev Price
796 Woodcrest 2144 4/2.5 '89 $340k $1.225m

Your covid bodega

Like a convenient corner store, this section repeats in every issue to remind you of some available services during the pandemic.

Got the munchies There are a lot more restaurants on the island than you might remember in your head when you’re thinking about what to eat. Thanks to this pandemic, most of them deliver and all are doing takeout. Here’s a list of everything you can eat.

(KB restaurant list)

Never leave the couch There’s great resources on the island in case you want help running errands, or know someone who does. You can also volunteer to run errands, in case you’ve got the cabin fever.

(KB pandemic resources)

Feeling it yet? If you’ve got symptoms or are considering getting tested, you can take this survey provided by the KBCF and the Village. If warranted, you may get a call and an appointment to get tested right here on the Key.

(KB Covid-19 Testing)

Hum the piano exit from 'Layla' to yourself

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Questions, comments, tips, or to drive around at 3am and claim we’re scientists studying the night 🌚, write to hi@tropicalrag.com.

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