2020-07-09

Hello Key Biscayne!

We’re keeping this one short so you don’t linger in bed too long. Enjoy.

My corona Guys, when they asked you to flatten the curve they meant horizontally, not vertically. We went from an increase of ten positives last week to around forty more this week.

It was even worse in Dade County, so Mayor Giménez had to crack down. But then people told him about our plan to hit the covid record and he switched his tune. Here’s the official dos and don’ts effective today:

💪 Gyms stay open, but you gotta get your gainz in a mask.

🍽 Restaurants stay open, but you can only eat outside.

🛌 If you’ve already booked your Airbnb, you’re good. If not, then the minimum is a one month rental.

⏰ There’s a 10pm curfew county-wide.

⛱ Beaches are open, but you have to wear a mask everywhere but in the water.

🚷 Finally, non-residents can’t come to the Key unless they’re in a motor vehicle.

(Miami-Dade County)

Oversharing A couple of weeks ago, during a Village budget workshop, a spreadsheet was shared with the public. It had your typical budget numbers, but there were a couple more sheets in this spreadsheet with some rough drafts, and also a sheet with about a dozen Village employee names in it.

Was this a list of possible employees to cut? Many people seemed to think so. So much so, in fact, that the manager had to put out this video saying this was not the case. None of them have yet to be fired, but the video also doesn’t explain why the names were there in the first place. 🤔

(Village Manager)

But they built good highways There are a lot of stupid stories that fly by this desk and we do our best to ignore them. One of those stories is something that’s been playing out in the Islander, when on June 11th the cartoonist, Peter Evans, published a cartoon depicting President Trump with a swastika poking out from under his shirt.

From there the past three weeks of letters to the paper have been from people offended at the cartoon. Surprisingly, they weren’t offended at Evans’ consistently unfunny cartoons (😏 I still enjoy ‘em), but at the swastika. It was also fitting that Mr. Trump shared a video of a dude on a golf cart yelling, ‘white power!’ right as all this blowback was happening, as a little wink to all our residents.

Anyway, it’s only in this here rag now because the brouhaha has gone national: the Washington Post has published a story chronicling the whole thing.

(Washington Post)

The man, the myth Longtime restaurateur and recent nomadic philosopher Vito was hit by a car when crossing Crandon last week. He was banged up pretty bad. His daughter has set up a fund for his medical expenses, in case you’d like to contribute. 🤕

(GoFundMe)

Not again Key Biscayner Hector Echeverria was riding his bike with a friend last week when he was struck and killed by a Miami-Dade police officer. It happened inside the park at Virginia Key, where the speed limit is 25mph. No other details have been released.

(Miami Herald)

Like a convenient corner store, this section repeats in every issue to remind you of some available services during the pandemic.

Got the munchies There are a lot more restaurants on the island than you might remember in your head when you’re thinking about what to eat. Thanks to this pandemic, most of them deliver and all are doing takeout. Here’s a list of everything you can eat.

(KB restaurant list)

Never leave the couch There’s great resources on the island in case you want help running errands, or know someone who does. You can also volunteer to run errands, in case you’ve got the cabin fever.

(KB pandemic resources)

Feeling it yet? If you’ve got symptoms or are considering getting tested, you can take this survey provided by the KBCF and the Village. If warranted, you may get a call and an appointment to get tested right here on the Key.

(KB Covid-19 Testing)

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I heard about some people making some noise out there on the 4th. Good on ‘em. See you next week!

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