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Your weekly slice of island life.


Happy new year, Key Biscayne!

Hope you had a real festive NYE, despite the limitations.

There’s a ton of stuff happening this week, but not on this island.

Three kings parade Key Biscayne Jan 2021The Three Kings Parade. The Kings in the back, being driven by Wyatt Earp and some guy in a fez 'cause why not?

Just the right length today (she never said that). Alright, enjoy.

Barely island-related dept.

No prick for you As the vaccine starts to roll out you may be wondering when you can get it, and if Bill Gates will personally be there to give it to you. The latter is unlikely, but the Village is trying to do something.

Even though the Village has no control over distribution, they have assigned Fire Chief Eric Lang to pester the county and state until they get us some vaccines. If or when they do, the Village will get them to people in need. For now it’s just some phone calls, though, so don’t bother them about it. 💉

(KB Independent)

15 minutes This barely has anything to do with the Key except that we’ll probably end up paying for the damages.

Some Miami Instagram coolguy decided to jump on a parked cop car and started yelling stuff for all his followers, dented the top, and then got caught because of the video. This all happened north of Downtown, so why’s it here? Because it just so happened to be a KBPD car. 🤷‍♀️

(Miami Herald)

But everybody’s doing it For all that bashing we’ve been doing about those people getting their cars stolen after leaving their keys inside, it seems it’s not exclusive to the Key, or South Florida for that matter.

The New York Times has an article this week about how this is happening in other cities around the country, saying it’s because the key fobs are easy to forget inside the car, and that no matter where you live you’re going to have dumb people. 🚗

(New York Times)


Many of you probably want to get vaccinated already and get this whole thing over with. While there’s no easy way to get the vaccine, and nothing on the Key yet, you can at least sign up at certain medical providers to get it as soon as it’s available. Here are a few links and numbers to get yourself in the queue.

Jackson Memorial Hospital

Mt Sinai – 305-674-2312

University of Miami Health Systems – Call your doctor or 954-689-5950 (You should already be a patient).

From the peanut gallery

From the can’t-tell-if-it’s-real-or-sarcastic-but-funny-either-way desk:

We adopted a puppy from a rescue shelter after competition from others wanting to adopt this puppy also. The shelter was concerned about us living in a condo but once I told them we spent $800,000 on our village dog park, we were approved to adopt the puppy so we are grateful to our past village councils for making our puppy adoption possible. Just saying.


Regarding loose critters:

Gray fox Key Biscayne Jan. 2021Or maybe it's a chupacabra. 🦇

After iguanas, raccoons, opossums, etc. we have now expanded the key natural zoo to…coyotes. See enclosed pic of one specimen spotted a few times crossing my yard.


Ed note: consensus around town is that they’re gray foxes, and they’re a native species. A few have been seen on the Key, though how they got here is anyone’s guess.


Everyone's tired from last weekend

Last week's sales

Location SQFT Rooms Prev Price
Casa del Mar 23G 1875 2/2 '03 $490k $1.365m
OC LT 408 3043 3/4 '02 $695k $1.425m
KC IV 169 1720 3/3 '18 $715k $880k
KC III 928 1532 2/2 '09 $540k $875k
252 W Wood EMPTY LOT '15 $1.69m $1.275m
735 Fernwood 1531 3/2 '17 $1.25m $1.15m

Signing off

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Questions, comments, tips, or to plan a Festivus holiday farewell bash for this weekend 🥮, write to

Ah, back to normal. See you all in a week.

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