2021-02-04

Hello Key Biscayne!

That crackdown mentioned last week seems to be really happening, or at least it was over the weekend. Plenty of cars pulled over, police were at the beach park, some kid got busted stealing booze at 7-11 and started crying (the staff did this, not police, but whatever), and those are just the things we know about. Not sure where this paragraph is going, so here’s a photo:

Moon goes up, moon goes down. You can't explain that.

Most of the good parts of the issue are written by you, the reader, so thanks! Keep it coming.

Bug report The principal at MAST put all kids on blast last Thursday when he sent a message lambasting them for bringing covid to school. While transmission on school grounds has been low, students are catching it after school, at parties and such.

Because of all the covid, 200 students and 25 teachers have had to quarantine out of precaution and their soccer teams can’t participate in state tournaments. But that doesn’t matter too much because they suck anyway. 🧬

(Islander News)

Fender blender Here’s what not to do if you get in a car accident: walk away from the scene, come back after a while, try and hide the alcohol you left in the car, then try and get one of your passengers to say they were driving, and all while people are watching. Of course that’s exactly what one kid did about two weeks ago around W Wood and Harbor, and he was arrested for it. 💥

(KB Independent)

Inoculation anticipation Everyone who’s tried to get a vaccine knows what a pain in the ass it is. Every provider has a different appointment system and you have to check with them constantly to see if slots are available. It would be great if there was just one list where you could put your name and then be called when any of these providers is ready for you.

The state of Florida has created such a list, in that you can sign up once and wait. The only problem is that it’s only for their allotment of vaccines, which means if you want it quicker you’ll still need to refresh the page for every hospital and clinic in town, but hey, it’s a start. 💉

(MyVaccineFL)

Regarding new content:

Suggestion for Tropical Rag: a “post of the week” from the chats. Readers submit suggestions and the post is anonymized so that we can’t tell who wrote it. 😉

Possible title: “Fine Whines of Key Biscayne.”

-BK

Regarding wildlife on the island:

Why don't we do it in the road?

Key Biscayne love.

-FS

Regarding the spice of life:

If you think about it, the median is like your own little private park.

Could you ask your readers if they know anything about the Blockhead Dude?

-BBD

Ed note: Here’s a whine for you. Could we stop calling them ‘traffic circles’? There were words for it, like ’roundabout’ and ‘rotunda’ (which translates very well), before we ever installed and made these things a key part of our island. Both those words are more expressive and way less sterile than ‘traffic circle’. ♻️🍷🧀

Have a chat message you want posted? Send your fine whine to hi@tropicalrag.com.

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