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Your weekly slice of island life.

2021-04-01

Hello Key Biscayne!

Nah, the title’s not true. It was meant to be an April Fool’s joke but it was too heavy handed and it was canned. There was an incident last night on Crandon but it wasn’t particularly funny. The video footage can be found here.

Slalom skiing at the ski hole Key BiscayneAnd that's why they call it the ski hole.

Alright, internet April fool’s day is over. It’s a short one today.

Yokels only

Funnel cake Someone was a little late to the party with their hate for the dog park this week (it was very contentious when it was proposed). Some rat poision was found on the ground and the police are investigating how it got there. No dog was harmed in the making of this news report.

If you know someone a bit pathetic, with a diabolical tinge but little creativity, maybe ask them if they did it. 🐶

(KB Independent)

For the wonks (and the pseudo-wonks)

This week at the council, what was supposed to be an easy meeting, a meeting where the only real voting was a second reading to buy a new firetruck, it got a little harry.

They’ve been going through the process of hiring a new manager for ~6 months (the former manager quit last year). At the beginning of this process it was agreed that KBPD Chief Press, the current interim manager, would not be manager if he was made interim manager. They decided they would go with a very rigorous process: each candidate would be vetted based on background checks, emotional viability checks, consultant interviews, anal probes, etc.

That process was so rigorous that one of the top candidates packed up and bowed out as soon as the results were in. That left council this Tuesday with a situation where some were not satisfied with the rest of the field. Then Councilmember Moss suggested putting current interim manager, Chief Press, into the candidate pool.

To understand this, you have to understand that there’s a bit of split on council. As a generalization and opinionated way to describe it (and take this as such because people are more than the words written here), Councilmembers Lauredo, London, and Segurola are keen on a manager who comes from outside, while Councilmembers McCormick, Moss, and Caplan are open to both someone from outside but now could go with someone from inside who they already know. Mayor Davey is taking a deserved vacation and doesn’t want to hear it.

So when Councilmember Moss suggested this week that the interim manager Chief Press should be considered, it was not well received. It was an affront to the original idea that the new manager would be picked from outside, as agreed.

At this point it should be mentioned that Councilmember Lauredo made certain claims that there was a conspiracy afoot, insinuating that there was prior knowledge that Chief Press would be proposed for the position. They got all heated about it.

The conspiracy talk doesn’t really affect the meat of what we’re talking about, though: if you’re a politician and said the manager would be from outside, and you went through the outside probing process, and all the current outside options are crap (to you), but you know some of your colleagues were really banking on an outsider, is it fine to pick someone from the inside or should you stick to the original plan? 🤷‍♀️

Calendar

Around Town

  • Sunday 4/11
  • 🥏 Grab a beer at the oldest tournament around (MAST Field)

Last week's sales

Location SQFT Rooms Prev Price
Solimar 2E 1036 2/2 '92 $138k $412k
660 Warren Ln 2821 4/2 '01 $880k $1.875m
Island House 609 1350 2/2 '12 $540k $1.3m
Governor's Lodge 1J 440 1/1 '98 $95k $250k
OC CT II UPH4 5110 4/6 '18 $5.4m $6.325m
Casa del Mar 22B 1875 2/2 '12 $835k $1.425m
CC West 210 1260 2/2 '11 $360k $615k
CC South 115 1350 2/2 '99 $240k $490k
Ocean Lane Plaza 507 1460 2/2 '14 $640k $520k
611 N Mashta 3620 4/4 '94 $1.23m $6.3m
OC OT II 907 3581 4/5.5 '05 $3m $4.5m
240 Galen 315 725 1/1.5 '15 $295k $290k
150 Sunrise 4C 1158 2/1 '15 $475k $500k
501 N Mashta 5895 4/4 '88 $1.3m $7.25m
Ocean Lane Plaza 511 1335 2/2 '19 $430k $475k

Leaving so soon?

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Why can’t they all be funny?

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