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Your weekly slice of island life.


Hello Key Biscayne!

We’re talking lights in this issue as there’s little else going on in this town.

KB Beach December 2021When nature calls at the beach.

Let’s gooooooo.

Lights out

They used to run a contest on the island to see who had the best holiday lighting and decorations, but no one is doing that this year. Or if they are, we haven’t heard of it. The Rag has you covered, though, and there’s no need for things like voting or alternative opinions.

We looked at every single house on the island and as you might expect, most decorations on the Key are rather modest and elegant. They don’t really stand out for highlighting here in this newsletter, but that’s really for the best. There aren’t really any stand-out ugly or loud houses this year either; there’s low-effort stuff but nothing you could convey in a photo as truly ugly.

What does that leave us with? Not much really, and now it makes total sense why no one is running a contest.

Some stats

Houses with lights: 306 of ~1250 (~24%).

Truly interesting houses: 0.5

Time spent looking at every house on the island: 2h05m

Santas in vehicles that aren’t sleighs: 2

Darkest, grinchiest area: the area around Hampton and Greenwood.

Biggest fall from grace: 300 W Heather. From having 4 beautifully lit gigantic royal palms, to having no lights and somehow losing two of those palms.

Chances the Rag will ever do this again: 0.

395 Caribbean Drive, KB395 Caribbean never disappoints in the eclectic category.

Upside down tree 220 HarborA hard to see upside-down tree at 220 Harbor.

Santa Helicopter 320 RedwoodSanta in a plane on Redwood.

Santa Helicopter 330 Harbor CtSanta in a heli on Harbor Ct. The prop and rotor actually move which is a nice touch for something that overall is not a nice touch.

Santa Helicopter 116 W MashtaThe island's tallest, most out of focus Santa at 116 W Mashta.

515 Ridgewood lightsThis house at 515 Ridgewood doesn't look like much, but the lights flashed so fast the epileptic kid across the street moved to Las Vegas as the lights are less intense there.

Lights at 230 HarborJust a nice example in the elegant category.

Everyone gets a participation award for this first and last edition of the Tropical Rag Holiday Lighting Key Biscayne World Cup™.

From the peanut gallery

On the need to remove polluted soil discovered at 530 Crandon / Paradise Park / Tony’s Citgo:

No shit, Sherlock! Of course it’s contaminated. Can’t believe this was not checked out before now!


To clean up the Citgo site let’s go after Ed Clemente’s estate (he died about 30 years ago) and Tony Greco, still thriving in Stuart, both former owners of the station.


Can’t believe they are erasing history at the old Citgo! Is nothing sacred?



Around Town

  • Today 12/16
  • 👩‍🔬 Science lecture but there's no link but it's probably at 7pm and there's wine. (Community Center)
  • Saturday 12/18
  • 🍪 Free cookies but you gotta pay (Virginia Key)
  • 🔥 You've heard it advertised on the radio, now it's here (Crossbridge Church)

Last week's sales

Location SQFT Rooms Prev Price
KC II 1105 1368 2/2 '11 $552k $1.025m
OC LT PH6 2477 3/2.5 '10 $1.4m $1.98m
240 Greenwood 1709 3/2 '11 $950k $2.065m
Mar Azul 6DN 1889 3/2 '13 $1.1m $1.7m
Ocean Village 4010 1450 2/2 '15 $570k $635k
GB Tower PH2EN 2840 3/4 '04 $1.55m $3.85m
KC IV 348 1600 3/2 '00 $275k $890k
OC LT 206 2477 3/3 '09 $1.06m $1.895m
960 Harbor N/A N/A N/A $9.8m
698 Glenridge 2510 3/3 '86 $165m $2m
24 GB Estates Cir 4156 5/5 '07 $3m $3.225m

Elf at 1090 Mariner KB

Turn off the light on your way out

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Questions, comments, tips, or to make a light-show that syncs to black metal music together 🕯, write to

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