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Your weekly slice of island life.


Hello Key Biscayne!

This week, some people want to ban golf carts, others want to ban scooters, and others just want to ride their scooters in a peloton while a golf cart follows with a film crew in the first annual Tour d’Key.

Galen drive with US flag

None of the rest of this makes any sense either.

You news, you lose

Beep beep On Tuesday the Village passed a law to make it illegal for kids without a driver’s license to drive golf carts. You may wonder why it wasn’t already illegal, and it was in state law, but the penalty was a fine and the kid losing their permission to drive until they were 18. The Village passed their own law so that they could ticket kids without taking away their permission to get a license, in the hopes that cops will give out more tickets. The whole thing is bizarre, but not as bizarre as a suggestion at the same meeting that golf carts be banned at night. That idea was quickly shot down. 🛒

(KB Independent)

Mask off Two key rats who were arrested last year for not wearing masks at a Village meeting had their charges dropped the other day, as prosecutors noted that the Governor had already pardoned anyone related to Covid restrictions. Now it’s six months later and all those restrictions are gone, so it doesn’t really matter. 😷

(KB Independent)

White whale A very rare sawfish was spotted in Bear Cut last weekend; actually two of them. The fish, which looks a bit like nurse shark with a chainsaw attached to its face, is critically endangered; it hasn’t been seen in the bay in a long time. That’s promising for the health of the bay, not as promising for your weekend swim. 🐡

(Miami New Times)

Fish food In more marine related news, a dolphin attacked one of the trainers at the Seaquarium over the weekend. They say it’s because the trainer accidentally scratched the dolphin, but we all know it’s because the dolphins are finally waking up and trying to seize the means of production. The trainer was fine. 🐬


Island poets

You know it’s still national poetry month, and we’re still going with our ZipOdes poems here. A quick refresh: write a poem with the same number of words as numbers from your ZIP code. Here’s two more:

Island welcome’s you
Visit and play
Respect our way of being
Or go back wherever the fuck you came from


This next one is from a rat who moved to 32963.

Memories of sunshine
Heart aches
With each visit growing more distant than I recall
Nothing lasts forever, so I’m told
Oh, the memories


Keep sending ‘em in and go visit the O’Miami festival this month.


Around Town

  • Saturday 4/16
  • 🌕 Moonlight jam (Lighthouse)
  • Tuesday 4/19
  • 🐚 Share secrets while getting comped wine (RSMAS)

Last week's sales

Location SQFT Rooms Prev Price
Cape FL Club 507 875 1/1.5 '83 $80k $460k
CC East 1014 1469 2/2 '20 $980k $1.6m
715 Myrtlewood 1728 4/3 '82 $148k $2.15m
Towers C502/3 2896 3/4 '14 $1.09m $1.875m
230 Cypress 1931 4/3 N/A $2.35m
KC III 605 1821 2/2 '05 $610k $1.275m
OC LV II 303 2220 3/3 '04 $830k $1.78m
Towers C1202 2896 4/4 '17 $1.45m $2.14m
590 Ocean Dr 3C 1365 2/2 '14 $570k $745k
270 Fernwood 2102 3/3.5 '04 $543k $2.1m
KC I 720 1009 1/1.5 '01 $249k $703k
GB Tower 603 3630 4/5.5 '11 $2.85m $4.1m
Crandon Tower 54 1040 2/2 '15 $410k $490k
285 Woodcrest 1092 3/1 '85 $105k $1.85m
CC East 1012 1260 2/2 '11 $670k $1.25m
Towers F702 2402 3/3 '15 $1.9m $2.55m
Oceana 802N 3600 4/4.5 '14 $4.7m $8.8m
Towers B1002 1782 2/2 $1.16m $1.55m
KC II 1002 1961 2/2.5 '16 $1.2m $1.6m
272 Fernwood 2102 3/3.5 '04 $567k $2m
KC III 1034 1584 2/2 '01 $360k $1.2m
1051 Mariner Dr 3422 4/5 '98 $1.2m $7.42m

One more thing

RIP to key rattin’, firefightin’, beekeepin’, honey-hawkin’ Ron Erbel, who sadly died over the weekend after a long fight with cancer. Gonna miss him driving the fire truck at the parade. 🚒

Ron + Sue and heart in sidewalkPretty sure Ron did this way back when, still visible on Seaview Dr.


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