2022-04-14
Hello Key Biscayne!
This week, some people want to ban golf carts, others want to ban scooters, and others just want to ride their scooters in a peloton while a golf cart follows with a film crew in the first annual Tour d’Key.
None of the rest of this makes any sense either.
You news, you lose
Beep beep On Tuesday the Village passed a law to make it illegal for kids without a driver’s license to drive golf carts. You may wonder why it wasn’t already illegal, and it was in state law, but the penalty was a fine and the kid losing their permission to drive until they were 18. The Village passed their own law so that they could ticket kids without taking away their permission to get a license, in the hopes that cops will give out more tickets. The whole thing is bizarre, but not as bizarre as a suggestion at the same meeting that golf carts be banned at night. That idea was quickly shot down. 🛒
Mask off Two key rats who were arrested last year for not wearing masks at a Village meeting had their charges dropped the other day, as prosecutors noted that the Governor had already pardoned anyone related to Covid restrictions. Now it’s six months later and all those restrictions are gone, so it doesn’t really matter. 😷
White whale A very rare sawfish was spotted in Bear Cut last weekend; actually two of them. The fish, which looks a bit like nurse shark with a chainsaw attached to its face, is critically endangered; it hasn’t been seen in the bay in a long time. That’s promising for the health of the bay, not as promising for your weekend swim. 🐡
Fish food In more marine related news, a dolphin attacked one of the trainers at the Seaquarium over the weekend. They say it’s because the trainer accidentally scratched the dolphin, but we all know it’s because the dolphins are finally waking up and trying to seize the means of production. The trainer was fine. 🐬
(WSVN)
Island poets
You know it’s still national poetry month, and we’re still going with our ZipOdes poems here. A quick refresh: write a poem with the same number of words as numbers from your ZIP code. Here’s two more:
Island welcome’s you
Visit and play
But
Respect our way of being
Or go back wherever the fuck you came from
-RL
This next one is from a rat who moved to 32963.
Memories of sunshine
Heart aches
With each visit growing more distant than I recall
Nothing lasts forever, so I’m told
Oh, the memories
-TG
Keep sending ‘em in and go visit the O’Miami festival this month.
Calendar
Around Town
- Saturday 4/16
- 🌕 Moonlight jam (Lighthouse)
- Tuesday 4/19
- 🐚 Share secrets while getting comped wine (RSMAS)
Last week's sales
| Location | SQFT | Rooms | Prev | Price |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Cape FL Club 507 | 875 | 1/1.5 | '83 $80k | $460k |
| CC East 1014 | 1469 | 2/2 | '20 $980k | $1.6m |
| 715 Myrtlewood | 1728 | 4/3 | '82 $148k | $2.15m |
| Towers C502/3 | 2896 | 3/4 | '14 $1.09m | $1.875m |
| 230 Cypress | 1931 | 4/3 | N/A | $2.35m |
| KC III 605 | 1821 | 2/2 | '05 $610k | $1.275m |
| OC LV II 303 | 2220 | 3/3 | '04 $830k | $1.78m |
| Towers C1202 | 2896 | 4/4 | '17 $1.45m | $2.14m |
| 590 Ocean Dr 3C | 1365 | 2/2 | '14 $570k | $745k |
| 270 Fernwood | 2102 | 3/3.5 | '04 $543k | $2.1m |
| KC I 720 | 1009 | 1/1.5 | '01 $249k | $703k |
| GB Tower 603 | 3630 | 4/5.5 | '11 $2.85m | $4.1m |
| Crandon Tower 54 | 1040 | 2/2 | '15 $410k | $490k |
| 285 Woodcrest | 1092 | 3/1 | '85 $105k | $1.85m |
| CC East 1012 | 1260 | 2/2 | '11 $670k | $1.25m |
| Towers F702 | 2402 | 3/3 | '15 $1.9m | $2.55m |
| Oceana 802N | 3600 | 4/4.5 | '14 $4.7m | $8.8m |
| Towers B1002 | 1782 | 2/2 | $1.16m | $1.55m |
| KC II 1002 | 1961 | 2/2.5 | '16 $1.2m | $1.6m |
| 272 Fernwood | 2102 | 3/3.5 | '04 $567k | $2m |
| KC III 1034 | 1584 | 2/2 | '01 $360k | $1.2m |
| 1051 Mariner Dr | 3422 | 4/5 | '98 $1.2m | $7.42m |
One more thing
RIP to key rattin’, firefightin’, beekeepin’, honey-hawkin’ Ron Erbel, who sadly died over the weekend after a long fight with cancer. Gonna miss him driving the fire truck at the parade. 🚒
Pretty sure Ron did this way back when, still visible on Seaview Dr.
Buh-bye
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